Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Question for ICLWers

I'm really excited to be blogging and participating in my first ICLW but I started second guessing myself as soon as I started to comment on other people's blogs.  Most of the blogs I want to comment on are written by people who are struggling with primary infertility and still waiting for their miracle.  I know that when I was in that position, some days I wanted to hear from people like me who had struggled like I did but who were successful in the end, and some days I didn't.  I don't want to pop into someones corner of the world and bring any more hardship then they already have and I don't want to be another reminder just like the random people who pop up pregnant all the sudden.  At the same time though, I can relate so much to all of it.  Once again, I feel like an infertile who doesn't belong.  So I'd like to hear from people who have done this before.  Am I worrying too much?


  1. I have often felt the same way! I have twins. A lot of people assume that I struggled with infertility to get those girls. But I didn't. It DID take us a long time conceive, but they were not an IVF miracle---it was all about genetics for us.

    I often feel like I can't relate to the struggles many of the women are experiencing, and I DEFINITELY don't understand all the abbreviations to describe the procedures they are going through!

    Still---I think it is good to step outside of the blogging community where you feel comfortable. I enjoy hearing from people from all walks of life. Reminds me that not everyone is a mama. Not everyone is dealing with teething babies. Our world is bigger than just what I experience. I think it's good for the soul, and it makes me thankful. There's always someone out there struggling with something worse than I am.

  2. I feel the same way, even more so since I have been blessed with no infertility troubles at all (knock wood). I didn't sign up for ICLW until I read this page http://www.stirrup-queens.com/navigating-this-site/
    which says that ICLW is open to all bloggers, not just IF blogs.

    But still, when I leave a comment, I feel guilty, because people will click to link back to me...

  3. Hi. Thanks for commenting on my blog, and congrats on starting your own blog. ICLW is a great way to get regular readers! As you know, my blog is also about parenting after IF. I usually comment on blogs that are also "after" blogs, because those are the ones I'm most interested in reading. But personally, I never minded people with kids who had dealt with IF. It was fertiles I couldn't stand. So I wouldn't worry - this is such a supportive community, I don't think you're going to offend anyone by visiting their blog.

  4. Thanks for stopping by my blog! I have a 14 year old and have been going through secondary infertility for almost 10 years, but to me, it doesn't matter WHO you are, or what your situation is...if you leave a comment, I am thankful!

  5. Hi! Visiting for ICLW :)

    When I first started doing ICLW on my old blog (primarily an infertility blog), I didn't mind getting comments from bloggers who were parenting. They were success stories, infertility and adoption survivors, and while I was jealous sometimes - their stories gave me hope. If I was in a bad place when I clicked into a parenting blog, I just clicked away again quickly.

    I think supportive and encouraging comments are welcomed by most. Otherwise, they probably wouldn't have signed up for ICLW. So comment away - and don't feel guilty about it. After all, as Mel says, comments are the new hug!

  6. Honestly for me I find it harder to follow a blog that already has the miracle. I know its selfish in a way but its hard sometimes and censoring my viewing is one of the few ways I can keep the pain away.
    On the other hand I love getting encouragement and hearing happy stories. I have searched for blogs that have overcome Male IF issues and sometimes its hard to find a good uplifting, you can get there too kind of story.
    I also like ICLW because a lot of ladies will do it each month and I'm able to check in during that week and see whats up without having to keep up the follow.

  7. It's so good to hear everyone's perspective on this! I know when I was trying to get pregnant with Bean, some days I could handle it and some days I couldn't. As the week has gone on though, I've gotten less worried and decided that if I felt like I had something to offer, I'd offer it. If my blog was too hard for someone else to visit, they didn't have to. I'm hoping that what Twinside Out said is true, and if anyone would be really thrown off by having an infertility mama visit their blog then they wouldn't sign up for ICLW.

    I still chose not to post on some blogs though, because I just didn't feel like I was what they needed that day. In the end, as I usually end up discovering is best, I just went with my gut and it got easier and a lot more enjoyable. Thanks so much for helping me feel more at ease but also for keeping it real. Exactly what I needed.