Sunday, March 25, 2012

Glad that's over

Well, things got worse before they got better.  Remember when I foolishly said that I wasn't really having any pain from the surgery itself?  I guess it just needed time to get going because soon after I posted last, I started feeling very crampy and bleeding quite a bit.  Enough that I was starting to get nervous.  And kind of weird feeling.  Light headed, tired, still sick to my stomach.  I thought it was all from the anesthesia or from not having any caffeine for days, but hubby started to get worried and I promised that if the bleeding didn't slow down by Saturday I'd call the doctor.

You see, they give you such vague parameters.  If you're bleeding through a pad in an hour, call.  Well, what kind of pad?  What constitutes bleeding through?  Because I normally don't wait until we've gotten to that point before I switch to a new one.  (Sorry if this is all TMI)  I didn't start to get worried until late on Friday and of course at that point, the office was closed.  I knew I could call and talk to someone and they could page my doctor, etc, but it didn't feel that bad.  I kept thinking that I'd bled that much before like when I had my miscarriage or after Bean was born.  Then I realized something Saturday morning.  When I bled those times it was because there was blood built up that had to go somewhere, it wasn't because I had just had surgery and was possibly losing blood that should be flowing through my veins.  Not so smart huh.  Anyway, just when I put all these things together and was about to call my doctor it slowed down considerably.

It took another 24 hours, a long nap, and a dinner of red meat that hubby insisted on making me for me to feel more normal again, but I'm there.  I'm going to talk to my doctor about it at my post-op appointment coming up, but for now I'm just thankful that things seem to be getting better.  I haven't felt out of sorts for that long since my c-section and I realized just how hard it is to try to be a mama when you're not at your best.  Heck, it's hard enough when you are.  It has me a little nervous because the first time I had this surgery I thought it was one and done.  But here I am again and according to my doctor, if you have irregular cycles then you're more prone to polyps.  So I could end up back here again.  Which I wouldn't be super thrilled about.

Anyway, the good news for now is that I'm on the mend and hubby has been SUPER amazing.  I'm continually reminded of new ways I can love him.  Like when I woke up from my nap yesterday on the couch and saw him in the living room surrounded by the worlds largest pile of folded laundry.  He seriously must have washed every piece of dirty laundry in the house and folded it all.  It might sound silly, but I was overcome with love for him at that moment.  It helped too that Bean was right there too "helping" him and he was loving it.  It was a good moment at the end of some not so good days and I'm glad to be on the other side.

Thursday, March 22, 2012


Well, the last week has been nutty.  My parents officially live here.  The movers have come and gone, and left a million boxes.  We've been trying to figure out this whole living close to each other thing and it's had it's difficulties but has actually been going pretty well.  And yesterday, I had my hysteroscopy.

That, was not so much fun.  I mean, as far as surgeries go, it's an easy one for sure.  But compared to my last hysteroscopy, it was really different.  Last time I had the hysteroscopy and was pretty much fine by that evening.  I had some discomfort from the catheter that they put in, but otherwise was fine.  We actually ended up having to drive about 5 hours to my in-laws because my father-in-law was really sick and I was fine to make the trip.  I have no idea if it makes a difference or not but last time I was just having my septum made smaller (For those of you who don't know, a septum is a growth of tissue that divides the uterus from the top down.  It can be problematic if an embryo tries to implant there because there isn't enough blood supply to support a growing baby.) and this time I was having a polyp removed and the doctor took a little more off my septum.

Anyway, for whatever reason it kicked my butt a bit this time.  One of my friends took me up for the surgery which was super nice because hubby was home with Bean and it was great to have someone sit and wait with me.  Although I did feel bad when they started asking questions about things like my last bowel movement.  I mean we're good friends, but that's one thing we don't usually share.  Everything was going well, the nurses were fantastic, my doctor was great, but when I was all done I felt yucky.  I swear last time they just sedated me and this time they used general anesthesia.  They also gave me some pain medicine after I woke up because I was feeling a little crampy (although I think a couple over the counter pain meds would have done the trick) and I immediately felt sick to my stomach.  The anti-nausea stuff they gave me next didn't really do the trick so I was having a hard time, and still am to some degree, with that.

Since everything went so smoothly last time, hubby thought he'd be kind and bring Bean up to sit with me while I had my juice and crackers before they sent me home.  He had no idea I'd be as out of it as I was and feeling so yucky.  So it was a little tricky trying to interact with her at the hospital, but we got through and went home and I slept for most of the evening and night last night.  I feel better today but still not great.  I had told hubby that he should be able to go back to work and that was foolish of me.  I really needed him here today and luckily he was able to make that happen.  I just still feel a bit off.  My head hurts, my throat hurts where the breathing tube was, I'm uncomfortable because of the catheter, and I still feel kind of foggy and slightly nauseous.  I'm hoping by the time I wake up tomorrow, I'm back to my usual self.  We'll see.  I seem to be improving a bit all day.

Tomorrow I have to start taking estrogen for 5 days or so to help everything heal.  Amazingly, I have no real pain from the surgery itself, which is wonderful.  We have to sit out a cycle to wait for everything to heal so I'm guessing we'll be back in the game around May.  That's a good month for us though.  Bean's birthday, my birthday, hubby and my anniversary, and the anniversary of our little pup-pup joining the family are all in May.  I feel like good things happen that month.  So I'm going to focus on resting, healing, and being ready when the time comes.  Because really, there isn't anything else I can do right now.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Still Standing

But mainly because it hurts less then sitting does.  But I'm getting ahead of myself.  Thanks for the words of encouragement, it's been a bit of a tough time.  A lot has happened so I'm going to update you real quick via some bullets and then hopefully have time to work on another post that's rolling around in my head.

- My parents came to visit to look at the apartment here that we found them.  They had some health problems pop up that made the trip a bit of a challenge and gave me a taste of what's to come.  We were making it through until the last day when my mom took a tumble coming up our front steps and took my dad down with her.  I still have traumatic thoughts from that episode.  All seemed fine following until...

-My dad ended up in the hospital a little less then a week later with a bacterial infection in his leg where he scraped it during the fall.  Both my parents are diabetics and this caused problems that wouldn't have happened otherwise.  He was in the hospital for almost a week and is now continuing to recover at home but...

-They needed a lot of help because all this happened at a critical time in the moving process.  Their house should be sold within a week or so, the movers came and started packing and emptying last week and by the end of this week, they'll live here.  So we went up for an extended period of time to help as much as we could.  It was tough with Bean and we're all exhausted, but happy that this phase is almost complete.

-Now we just have to focus on the transition.  We went through it when my MIL moved here and we all survived, so I know that we will this time too.  It's not that I don't want my parents close, I do, it's just going to change our lives dramatically and we're all going to have to figure out what that looks like.  It's going to take time, and some work, but we'll get there and I'm positive that it will all be better in the end.

-In the meantime, hubby and I both managed to injure ourselves.  He hurt his knee playing basketball and I severely bruised my tailbone, which is surprisingly painful if you've never done it.  We weren't at our best but tried to hold it together with sheer determination and lots of ad.vil.  Add a cold for Bean on top of all that and you can understand why I've disappeared for the last few weeks.  Not only has life been crazy, but it's been too painful to sit at the computer and type!  Luckily we're all on the mend though.

-I had my pre-op appointment today for my hysteroscopy which is next week.  The doctor offered, like she did last time, to do a laparoscopy just to look around and make sure that everything looked okay in there before we try making babies again.  I turned her down last time and I did this time again.  Maybe it's dumb, she's going to be there checking things out anyway, but I got pregnant once before and I'm hoping that everything in there is still working well enough to make that happen again.  I'll be kicking myself if I have to have yet another operation down the road to do exactly what I told her not to this time, but oh well.  I feel like it's the right thing to do.  So next week they remove the polyp, and possibly shorten my septum some more and then we wait and see how things look and hopefully can get the ball rolling again on trying for number two.

So I think that's the big stuff in a nutshell.  I have a lot on my mind that will be coming in less newsy and more thoughful posts, I just need life to slow down for a moment so that I can write it all down.  There's been a lot going on in our community while I've been gone though and I've got some things to say about it.  Hope everyone is well and I'm SO happy to be back!