A Vicious Cycle

I've been wanting to get in better shape for awhile now.  I've lost my pregnancy weight and now I'm working on the infertility weight.  I'm not really overweight at this point, but I'm out of shape.  I'm pretty active all day since Bean is really active, but I haven't found time to do some real exercising.  The problem isn't that the time doesn't exist, it's that I just feel exhausted.  My plan has been that during Bean's first nap, I'd work out and there's no reason why that can't work.  When I think about it, I get really excited about it and I've been working on cleaning up the basement and getting our "home gym" back together again (it got a little flooded with baby stuff).  The problem is that when nap time actually arrives, I just feel exhausted.

Bean hasn't been a very good sleeper since she was about 4 months old.  The first 4 months, she slept pretty good, then we just had two straight months of really rough nights until it got a little better.  Since then it's slowly gotten better and better, with some setbacks, but I still feel so tired.  It's like I just can't get caught up from when I was up 5 or 6 times a night.  I have a really hard time napping during the day, unless it's in the rocker with Bean, then I can pass out really easily.  I know I should probably get to bed earlier at night, but by the time Bean goes to bed, I need at least an hour to do something that I want to do.  I just feel like I'm stuck in this cycle that I can't break out of.  I know that I'll probably feel better and have more energy if I start working out regularly, but I just feel so exhausted, I can't kick my butt into doing it.  I know, I know, I just have to do it.  I just have to suck it up and try and see what happens.

Oh sleep, how I miss you.  I remember this foolish, foolish pregnant woman saying something like, "I think I'll sleep better once the baby is here.  Even if I get woken up a lot, at least I'll be able to sleep really well in between."  I had no idea.