Getting through the wait

Bean went to the dentist for the first time today and I was shocked at how good she did.  I've been putting this off, mostly because of my own issues.  I went to a pediatric dentist and was scarred by it and have had to push myself to go ever since I became an adult.  I wanted to be sure that Bean had the best possible experience and I didn't know what to do.  Should I go with the pediatric dentist or go to the one that we go to that's okay but not fantastic, mostly because they know us and we know them and I know they'll take good care of her?  I finally listened to my mama friends and my pediatrician and took her today to the pediatric dentist and she did SO GOOD!  She's really shy around new people and I just had no idea what to expect.  It helped that we don't watch that much tv at home and they had Curi.ous Geor.ge on the tv there so she was entranced.  It also helped that the dentist had Bean lay across our laps bridged together by this foam pad.  I think it made Bean feel pretty safe and I felt much better too.  So I'm super relieved that it's over and hoping that I made the right choice for the long haul.

I also have been kind of hiding out for the last week.  I was so overwhelmed at the end of the week with our IUI's and I knew I needed to recharge.  So Bean and I stayed home and just had fun.  It was exactly what I needed and I feel SO much better now.  I feel like a better mama, and just a happier person in general.  I'm still kind of snappy.  I can't handle stress like I normally can but I'm guessing that might be the hormones that are going on in my body right now.  I'm taking progesterone and I think my ovaries are finally starting to return back to normal after a couple weeks of a really sore, swollen belly.  I can only imagine that had some effect too.

As far as "symptoms", I have no idea.  Last time we did this I had pregnancy symptoms every cycle because of the progesterone I was on.  This time I'm on something different.  My body seems to be handling the progesterone issue much better on it's own so I don't need as much and I don't feel pregnant all the time.  Which is good and bad.  It's not as heartbreaking knowing that just because I feel this way, it doesn't mean I'm pregnant, but now I realize how hard it is to not feel that way too.  Every little way that my body is different I wonder about.  I swear my boobs are sore to some degree, although that could be in my head.  There isn't too much else going on besides the fact that I'm super tired, although I gave up caffeine on the day of our first IUI so it could be that.  It's just weird to me because Bean is actually sleeping through the night almost every night lately (if she wakes up, it's just once and gets back to sleep pretty quickly) and I'm getting 7-8 hours of sleep every night.  That's UNHEARD OF in our house.  It's the most sleep that I've gotten in 2 years and yet I'm falling asleep during the day and fighting to make it until hubby gets home.  It seems weird to me, but I'm trying not to read too much into it.  I'm not really nauseous but with Bean that didn't hit for me until after we knew I was pregnant.  7 weeks maybe.  I don't remember for sure, but it hadn't happened yet.

So that's where I am.  I go in on Thursday to find out for sure what's going on in there.  I'm not going to test before that.  I didn't test in my first and last cycles when I did this the last time and I got pregnant both those times.  I know it's probably superstitious and means nothing, but I'm going to stick with it because for me, I can stay more sane if I don't test.  That's what I'm focusing on this week.  Sanity and keeping busy and preoccupied.  Which means we might try to kick potty training into high gear.  We'll see how it goes.  Fingers crossed that the week goes by quickly and we get good news on Thursday.  This weekend is hubby and my fifth wedding anniversary and that would be a wonderful gift for us.  I'll keep you posted!