Monday, February 6, 2012

I have a problem

A commenting problem.  I often type comments on blogs. Thoughtful ones.  I take my time.  And then I never submit them. Mostly I just stop myself because I wonder if the person whose blog I'm commenting on will care to hear what I have to say.  If what I have to say matters.  Usually I decide to just forget about it.  But then I read a blog post about commenting and I started thinking about it more.  I started thinking about how much I love getting comments on my blog.  Of any kind.  Even if they are ones that disagree with me, or remind me how silly I can be, or just say hey I read this.  Every single one matters.  So why is it so hard to imagine that other people won't see the same value in my words?

The internet is kind of a strange place, where norms and manners are different then other parts of life.  I would never sit in a room listening to someone talk and not acknowledge that they are speaking.  I might not speak, given the situation, but I would nod, or smile, or furrow my brow if I disagreed.  I would make some motion so that person would know I was hearing their words, thinking about them, and so they would know that I was present in that moment.  Yet I rarely do that online.  I can't just give a quick word to say "hey, I was here and heard what you had to say" I feel the need to have something really brilliant to add.  The perfect words, because those words are being saved forever for the world to view.  I get anxious about them.  About how people might interpret them.  About whether someone will even care that they've been written.  And so I shy away from commenting.

But I'm starting to realize that this worry that I have, about my voice in a new setting and learning new norms for the online world, is really deterring from my own experience.  If I want to get the most out of this, to really feel what it is like to belong to this community, then I need to figure it all out and let my voice be heard.  Even if it's just a nod, or a smile, or a distant thoughtful look in my eye.  I haven't gotten this whole blogging thing down yet.  But I'm determined to make the most out of it.  Because I feel like I've only scrapped the surface and already I am so blessed to have this blogging world as part of mine.


  1. You may as well have been reading my mind with post, so I had to get off my bum and comment! Thanks, great post!!

  2. We all have this problem. That is why the stats do not match the comments' number.
    I know what you are talking about. I also type comments and in the end just don't post them, because I doubt the bloggers care about what I have to say. I also don't really like when I comment often and the blogger in question does not bother telling me at least a word. It happened to me a couple of times. Made me feel miserable. Oh well, it is what it is, right?
    I also did not comment on blogs written by bloggers who might have come and checked my blog and just got upset by my life right now. I totally understand that and I am now commenting under another name so that they do not go through unnecessary pain.
    It is so easy to just say 'hi, I hear what you are saying, you are not alone', yet so few people do it. It is easier to just come, see, leave. Let's try and change that if we can. :-)
    Great post.

  3. I think we all feel this way about blogging. I still wonder (after 3 years of blogging) if anyone cares if I comment on a blog. But, I know they do, because I love getting comments on my blog!

    I hope you find a way for your voice to be heard in a meaningful way!

  4. Thats how I am too :) You are very much not alone. I'm trying to do better, but I still have to make myself leave comments.

  5. So nice to hear from everyone and know that I'm not alone on this. I'm really challenging myself to comment on as many blogs as I visit as possible. Even when I'm bleary eyed and slightly not all there. Hopefully I won't end up embarrassing myself!

    Kmina: I have to admit that I'm not always good at replying to everyone who comments. That is one thing that I really admire about you as a blogger and something I'm going to work on because I want to do better. I also love the idea of having a pseudonym for those moments when you don't necessarily want people to be forced to see who you really are. Brilliant.

  6. I totally get it! Sometimes I feel dumb when I am commenting. I still do most times because I remind myself that the Blogger might just be happy to have a comment. But other times I read and don't comment. You will find your comfort zone!

  7. I think it's hard sometimes to leave comments and wonder about whether they are useful or wanted. But, then I think about how I feel when I get one (whether it's "what I want to hear" or not) and I try to do it. My problem is I read so much on my reader on my phone that I don't comment as much because it's hard.

  8. I get this. I've often started to comment, and then stopped. You know though---I always enjoy comments. It's fun to see what people have to add to what I've said, so I do try to find a way to relate when I stop by someone's space.

    I can appreciate your thoughtfulness over words---finding just the right thing to say, then wondering over its significance.

    It's a great perspective that you've come to---about your blogging experience. I hope that you'll continue to reach out to other bloggers---you never know when you'll meet a good friend ;)