Friday, February 10, 2012
Here we go...
Tomorrow morning I'm going in for my first real trip back to the RE. Blood work and ultrasound to see if things are a go. I'm not prepared at all. My period ended a week and a half ago and then seemingly started up again this week. Bean was sick at the time so I decided to wait for my next period to get started. I thought I had more time to prepare myself. I had this list of things to do in my head. Drink lots of coffee, not decaf. Have several more glasses of wine. Lose the ten pounds I somehow gained overnight when I stopped breastfeeding. Watch the video that teaches me how to mix those freaking injections. Oh yeah, and mentally prepare myself for the roller coaster again. Have I mentioned I hate roller coasters? I'm not there. I'm not ready in all of those departments. But somehow, by some miracle after 21 months, Bean started going to sleep, on her own, in her crib without a tear this week. I have A LOT more to say about that, but it's been the one thing that has held hubby and I back from feeling like we were 100% ready to try for another baby (if we are lucky enough to be granted two miracles). It feels like the universe is trying to tell me the timing is right, even if my list doesn't agree. So I'm going to try to go with it. Calm the nerves that are coming and going in waves and remind myself that I survived all this once and it was worth every gut wrenching second. I think the only fear left is that it will be just as miserable without the magnificent result this time. So yeah, it looks like I'm most likely officially back on the trying to conceive wagon and have no doubt that it's going to be a bumpy ride.
Posted by Ordinary Girl at 7:03 PM