Today was the day

My appointment with the RE was today and I'm happy to say that it went pretty well.  I ended up going by myself.  Hubby and I decided for several reasons not to take Bean with us.  We were aware of other patients feelings but we also just realized that if Bean was with us, neither of us would be able to focus 100%.  Plus the appointment fell right at Bean's nap time which would make it rough too.  So I got Bean down for her nap and hubby came home from work to stay with her while I went to the doctor.

One of the biggest reasons that I think this appointment went so well was actually because my doctor moved to a new office.  It may sound silly, but I make really strong place associations and I remember exactly how I felt in every single nook and cranny of that office that they were in two years ago.  The idea of walking back through that door was, overwhelming.  So walking into a brand new space that I've never seen before was pretty nice.  It felt like a fresh start.

Some of the staff in the office is still the same and I remember them from last time.  I'm really hoping that my favorite nurse is still there for the morning monitoring.  I saw Bean's picture in the photo album of their success stories that's in the waiting room.  I remember flipping through that when I was a patient last time around and not being able to imagine what it would be like to have a picture of my baby in there.  It was pretty special seeing Bean's little face staring back at me.  It brought me a certain sense of peace while I was sitting there instead of the anxiety that I had imagined.

The last time I was going through this, my RE's office was transitioning and changing a lot and it showed.  Things did not run very smoothly and it was frustrating.  I made peace with it because obviously, even amongst the disorganization, we got our miracle.  But this time around it was really nice to feel like they have their act together more.  I feel like I'm in better hands this time.  I know it's her job, but the doctor seemed pretty confident that the IUI's with injectables would work for us again this time and that hopefully it won't take long for us to get pregnant.  I'm skeptical of course, it's my nature, but I'm hopeful too.  I hope she's right.  I have to.

The only real bad part of the appointment was when I thought I had made it through and all the sudden she said "oh wait, you can't go yet, I need to do an ultrasound!"  Yikes!  Seriously?  I wasn't prepared for that.  I thought we were just talking today and I hadn't mental, or physical, prepared myself for that.  I have a toddler, if shaving my legs needs to get done, I need time to schedule that!  In a way though it was probably better.  Knowing that was coming would have brought me a lot of anxiety and I just didn't have time to think about it.  It really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and now the first time is over.

So the next hurdle is weaning Bean.  Once we've accomplished that, however long it takes, I give them a call and we start everything up on my next cycle.  If I have a cycle that is.  My body isn't exactly good about doing that on it's own, so we'll see what happens.  If it takes more then a month though then they'll kick start things.  In the meantime I have to go in for some blood work, hubby has to go in to get checked out and make his "contribution" and we see how things are looking these days.  Hopefully all those tests come back as expected and we're ready to go in a couple months.  Right now I'm feeling really good about all of it.  So I'm going to focus on that right now and enjoy the time I have left nursing Bean.  And whatever happens next, well, I'll worry about that when it comes.