I've been struggling with clothes. At home I happily wear things that show off my obviously growing belly. It certainly is growing earlier this time then last, and while it's easiest to blame the hyperstimulation, I think the fact that I never lost the last 5 pounds or so of my baby weight from Bean probably has a lot to do with it too (or maybe it was 10 pounds, if I'm being totally honest here which I should).
Anyway, I'm struggling when I go out. I'm not ready tell the world at large that I'm pregnant. I'm 9 and a half weeks and I haven't seen our little one in almost two weeks. The longer it goes, the more I worry that something has happened and I have no idea. In two weeks we'll get to check on things in there again, but until then, I'll be nervous. Anyway, back to the point. I have about 4 outfits that I feel like make me look chubby and not pregnant. I wear them a lot. Anytime I leave the house. And the pants, that situation is really starting to get dire. So yesterday I went and tried on lots of pants/shorts/capris. I tried to stay in the normal people department. Why can't the world get on board with more elastic waistbands??? Come on.
Anyway, that wasn't happening so eventually I found myself in the maternity department, trying on some underbelly shorts and they were, so very wonderful. I didn't want to buy them, I really didn't. I feel like it's way to early to be making such a purchase. But I'm desperate here so I bought two pairs. They're still in the bag with the tags on. I want desperately to wear them but am so afraid I'm asking for heartbreak. Why can't I just go with it? Why do I have to be so freaking nervous and worried all the time? I know why, but sometimes I do wish it was different.