Friday night I nursed Bean before bed and tried to enjoy every second, thinking it would be the last time that I ever did it. Well, I was wrong. Friday, out of nowhere, Bean started revolting against her nap. She wouldn't let me rock her, she wouldn't sleep in her crib, she didn't want to nap, but boy was she tired. She played in her crib for awhile, but if I left she got very upset. I had no idea what to do so we spent an hour going back and forth from glider to crib and back again before she finally fell asleep in the glider with me. I didn't think too much of it until it started again on Saturday. I got her down for a nap much quicker Saturday, but it made me start to worry. I was worried about the same thing happening at bedtime. We had this grand plan to focus on helping her get to sleep on her own after she was weaned, but she seemed to be forcing our hand. I started to panic a bit. We're still not sure exactly how we're going to move forward in the sleep department. We know what we don't want to do, but we thought we had more time to work on what exactly we were going to do. Apparently Bean had other ideas. So I spent the next few hours on Saturday being quite crabby (my poor hubby) as I worried about what was going to happen, if we were rushing the weaning, if I was doing the right thing, etc.
When I started weaning Bean I felt totally confident and am sure that's why things went relatively well. I did not feel confident yesterday. So I called it off. I realized that I need to feel good going into our first night without nursing. I need to feel like I know what I'm doing and that it's the right thing to do, and I'm just not sure right now. I'm a planner, and I need a plan. So that's what I'm working on. So far in her life, Bean has let us know when she's ready for the next big step. I can feel that kind of change in the air, I know it's coming, but for now, we're going to hold off on completely weaning while we try some new things at nap time, that we can hopefully use at bedtime as well once Bean is weaned. So that's the story. I failed and I feel completely okay with it. I know it will happen and I'm not going to move forward unless I feel good about it.