Well, Bean's in bed and for the first time in her life, I didn't nurse her at all today. In the last few days we moved her night-time feeding to before her bath. Today I offered her a smoothie (milk mixed with a little yogurt) instead and while she was very torn, and really wanted both, after she tasted the smoothie, she stuck with that. Obviously she's not going to get a smoothie before bed every night, but hopefully it will help in the transition.
This was a really hard process and I feel like I should be celebrating with a big glass of wine or something. Instead I just feel kind of sad. I know this is the right time and I know that in the end it will be the best thing for her. It makes me sad that she still loves it so much and we stopped it, and I think I realized today that I still loved it more then I was willing to admit. It was our time together. Precious moments when I got to stare at a beautiful little face that was blissfully happy. I know we'll have more special things and lots of blissful moments, but it's harder to let go then I realized it would be.
I hope it's not too hard from here on out though. I hope the next few days help us all move on and start the next chapter. I hope that sleepy times in this house get happier again. And I'm going to spend the next few hours before bed reminding myself how lucky I am to have experienced this at all, let alone for almost 18 months. When I started nursing Bean I said I'd be happy if I made it to 6 months, and then to a year, and now here we are at almost a year and a half. I am very blessed, and I do know that, even if my heart is a little heavy tonight.
It is sad to be saying goodbye to that time. It gets better, but four months later, every once in awhile, I still think of it and miss it.
ReplyDeleteGeorge is not really impressed by the bottle. And if I gave him a sippy cup, then he'd go to sleep three hours later than he should. It only makes it harder on me. But we'll get through this, right? There is no other way.
ReplyDeleteLet's hope and pray that we get to do that again, shall we? Let's focus on that instead.
I think it's okay to feel sad...I did and we didn't make it nearly as long as you. Anytime there is a milestone/change etc, it is normal to mourn. But, you're entering a whole new phase now...I hope it's exciting and full of new experiences for you.
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