Tuesday, December 11, 2012


We've been busy.  Tackling the to-do list of things that we're hoping to get done before the baby is born.  Choosing the pieces for our bathroom remodel which hopefully will get squeezed into the beginning of January.  Buying Christmas presents, writing cards, seeing all the people that we feel we should see.  It's a whirlwind and easy to get caught up in.

Our weekends have been packed.  Errands, lunches, commitments, etc.  Until this last weekend when we had the weekend of Christmas fun.  We've never taken Bean to meet Santa before.  She didn't really understand the idea of him until this year and she gets uneasy around people she doesn't know.  I didn't want one of those pictures of her at the mall screaming in his lap.  I didn't want to do it just to do it.  I wanted it to be special for her, if she even wanted to do it.  This year though she has much more interest in Santa and all things Christmas.  And I heard that our library was doing a morning story hour and visit with Santa this last weekend.  So I asked Bean if she wanted to go and she emphatically said yes.

Hubby, Bean and I headed out early to get to the library before it got too crazy.  We had a chance to talk to the children's librarian and read some books.  Bean was happy, especially since her daddy was there.  He doesn't usually get to go to the library with us because we go during the week, so this was a special treat.  We settled in for story hour with the other kids and when the librarian got to the end of the last story, sleigh bells started ringing and Santa appeared from somewhere with his usual ho ho ho's. The look on Bean's face, it made me heart catch.  She was beyond excited.  Her cheeks were flushed.  She was completely caught up in the magic of it all, and in that moment, we all believed that the man coming in was Santa and that he could bring happiness and treasures to the world.  I almost cried, which took me completely by surprise.

Bean was a little nervous to see him, but ended up giving Santa her letter that we wrote together and we got a picture of her and hubby with him.  I know that Bean probably won't remember any of this.  But I will remember that moment for the rest of my life.  All of the craziness of life right now, it all melted away.  The only thing that I could think about was the magical moment that we were able to make happen for Bean.  I love this time of year, the magic of it all and the love that surrounds it, if you don't get caught up in the commercialism of it all.  My grandpa instilled a true magic and love of this season in me as a child, and somehow managed to keep it going into my teenage years.  I hope that I can do that for Bean because it's something I cherish.

We spent the rest of the weekend riding tractors in the rain to cut down our Christmas tree and decorate it.  Bean took her own (plastic) saw to help her Daddy cut it down and he was able to make it seem like she made the final cut that brought the tree down.  She lovingly held and asked about each ornament for the tree, and every time she sees it with the lights on, it's like she's seeing it for the first time.  Her eyes are just so full of joy.

Hubby and I are still trying to figure out where we stand religiously.  I grew up going to church every Sunday and he grew up without any experience with religion.  We're figuring it all out, and someday I know Bean will hear that part of Christmas.  Right now though I just want her to know that Christmas is about love.  And that it's important to let the people in our lives know how important they are and how much we love them.

It's been easy to get caught up in everything else this year, but Bean has forced me to remember that myself.  The to-do list is still there and I still hope to get some things done on it before the baby arrives. The bathroom remodel is still looming over our heads.  I still have some shopping to do and some of it feels more like an obligation then I would like.  But I'm not as concerned about any of it.  My grandpa was able to create a magical feeling surrounding Christmas in my life until he died about ten years ago. I tried to carry that with me and in my heart since then, but last weekend it really came alive again.  Bean is the magic in my life everyday, and she continues to show me in all the moments I least expect it.  And I just hope that for the holidays, and everyday, she feels how much love we have for her.  And when life starts to get too crazy, I hope I can call that moment to mind when she saw Santa for the first time and believed that magic is real.

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