Action vs. Reaction

I started thinking last night about the different issues that I put my time and energy into.  Education, because I was a teacher and saw first hand what was working and what wasn't.  I have passionate feelings about education and if you get me started talking about it, well, you've been warned.  I often dream of somehow working in educational reform.  Maybe in a future career.  Infertility obviously.  I talk about it as much as possible, support the organizations that tackle the topic, and try to be an active member of the community.  I write to my senators and representatives and want to do more to make sure my voice is heard on this.  Breast cancer and Parkinson's Disease awareness.  My aunt and grandfather were both affected by these diseases.  I'll throw my support behind either cause wholeheartedly.

I also have strong opinions about other topics and yet I haven't done much, beyond voting a certain way in elections, to support them.  I believe that the amount of guns in our country is scary and unnecessary.  There needs to be a change there and more control.  We had friends who bought a handgun to keep in their home and immediately they went off my list of houses Bean could visit without us being present.  I don't like guns, and I really want nothing to do with them.  I believe that every person, regardless of their financial position, should have equal access to medical benefits, including mental health benefits.  If someone wants to be physically or mentally healthy, I believe they shouldn't be restricted based on their pocketbooks.  I believe in love and that people of any gender should be allowed to be married and form a family and should have all the same legal rights as my husband and I.  I could go on and on here, but that's not the point.

The point is that I do all these things, but I do nothing to actively change or support the causes related to them.  And I realize now it's because there hasn't been a catalyst for me to do so.  So often when you think of people who are devoting their time, money, or lives to a mission or cause, they're doing it for someone.  They're doing it because they, a friend, or family member have dealt firsthand with the issue and/or the consequences.  I feel like it's so much more likely to react to events in your life or the lives around you, then it is to just take action on things you believe in.  And when I thought about that last night, because I can't stop thinking about those 20 little ones who died yesterday, I was kind of ashamed of myself for it.  Why aren't I stepping up and speaking my mind on these very important issues, just because I personally haven't dealt with the ramifications?

Maya Angelou said yesterday: Our country is grieving. Each child who has been slaughtered belongs to each of us and each slain adult is a member of our family. It is impossible to explain the horror to ourselves and to our survivors. We need to hold each other’s hands and look into each other’s eyes and say, “I am sorry.”  And I really felt those words.  This is a huge opportunity to change the way that we all look at our world.  To stop just reacting to events that happen to us and to start taking action to prevent them.  I want a better world for Bean and for this new baby who's coming into it so very soon.  I don't know how to make that happen completely, but I'm so ready to try.  I don't want to wait until something horrible happens to one of my babies before I do everything in my power to make them safe.  And I cannot describe the grief I feel for these parents who are in that very place themselves right now.  May we hold each of their children as our own.  Somehow it feels like we failed them so completely.