Looking forward

Yeah, I had a bit of a freak out.  It was partially about frustration with doctors, and partially about trying to get ready for yet another week long trip that we took.  We decided to go on this trip after we found out we were pregnant.  We knew that it might be awhile before we could go on long trips again and we have lots of friends all in one area of the country that we wanted to see.  So we went.  It was a whirlwind and while it was wonderful to see all those people, it was kind of exhausting jumping from place to place.  Bean was a trooper through it all but we are all excited to be home with almost all of our big trips out of the way.  I have one more on my own (eek!) over Labor Day, but otherwise we're hanging out here and kind of going into nesting mode from here on out.

As far as the whole doctor debacle, it ended up working out.  I saw an Endocrinologist yesterday and feel much better about the whole thing.  I also saw the OB on Monday and our little one is doing well in there.  Heartbeat is still strong, and that's a huge relief.  I also talked to him about my arteries not doing their job and he wasn't worried yet.  He said it could lead to lower birth weight or premature birth but that is relatively unlikely.  It was good to hear.  I go back to the OB in a month and soon after that we have our 20 week ultrasound.  I'm 16 weeks today and I can't even believe it.  I spent so much time worrying that half this pregnancy is almost over.

Which leads me from where I was, worried all the time, to where I am now, relatively calm.  I still have a hard time not being scared sometimes, but I've realized that we got this far and if something were to happen now, it would be crushing whether I worry about it everyday or not.  It's time to let go, it's time to dream, and it's time to really start thinking about and preparing for this baby.  Which lead us to finally tell Bean she's going to be a big sister, and to start telling other people in our lives that this little one is on the way.  Some of them already know and have just been waiting for us to start talking about it, because at this point all you have to do is look at me and you know I'm pregnant.  I'm ready to face everybody and talk about being pregnant.  I know I probably sound like a crazy person that it took me this long, but that's just the reality of the situation.  It took me awhile, but I got here, and I'm glad I did it on my own terms.